The 3 questions to ask your oncologist that changed my appointments

When the doctor told me it was breast cancer, I didn't hear a single word after that. My brain had already left the room. So I stopped relying on my memory and started bringing my questions to ask my oncologist, written in a notebook.

I took 12 questions to every appointment. These are the three that changed everything.

Bring a person, not just a list

Never go alone if you can help it. The person you bring isn't there for comfort. Their job is memory. My partner Ken was with me on diagnosis day, and later my friend Mean came to every appointment.

The 3 questions that changed my appointments

"How much time do I have before treatment needs to start?" The answer took the panic out of every other decision. Almost nothing had to be decided that day.

"Who do I call at 3am?" The most practical question of my whole diagnosis. I saved that number in my phone and made sure the people at home had it too.

"Would you suggest the same thing if I were your daughter?" Watch what happens to the conversation when you ask it.

It's not rude. It's the most honest question you can ask.

The other 9

The full list of 12 questions I took to every appointment comes with my free toolkit, together with everything else I wish I'd known in the first weeks.